Today I had a very interesting and unusual experience. Someone asked for my number!
Now, it’s not like I don’t have a life (although sometimes it feels like it), and I do my best to be friendly and open with people. However, it’s not very often a guy will ask for my number.
But despite this rarity, I refused to give it to him. Why? For two reasons: I am not desparate enough to accept anyone who flirts with me. And because he had all the wrong reasons for asking.
He started talking to me at the bus stop, and we continued to chat as we got on the bus. It was an interesting enough converstation. But I started to notice that it was VERY one sided. He’d talk about himself, I would smile, nod, and make affirming sounds. Perhaps, once in a while, I would get a short question in.
I honestly DON’T mind if people want to talk a lot. It takes the pressure off me. But it was what he said after that got to me.
“Can I have your number? I feel like we had a really good talk.”
Excuse me? The only thing he knew about me was my name, even though I knew so much about him! His school, his ambitions, his favourite activities…etc. But he had said WE had a good talk, when it was simply HIM liking having someone to listen.
We all need someone to listen to us. However, it doesn’t feel right to have interest in someone because they will be that Listener. That isn’t fair to them, or to you. That’s not a relationship. Relationships go two ways.
If I were going to give my number to anyone, it would be because I know they are interested in knowing me. Not someone who simply likes me listening to them. That does not show me a lot of personal confidence that I want in a potential partner.
So yes, I said no to giving him my number. And I can stand by that no matter what. I may not get many offers, but when someone who is TRUELY interested in me comes along, I’ll be ready.