C’mon girls, this habit has GOT to go!

You know what I’m tired of? I’m tired of girls who are embarrassed of the guys they like. I hate that. Girls will show their friends a picture of the guy they like, and say stuff like, “He’s more attractive in person” or “It’s just a bad picture”..etc. Sure… it may not be the best picture, but do you really need to make excuses? Why on earth are you defending how he looks? If you find him attractive, why are you acting like you don’t? I like to think about how I’d feel if a guy liked me, showed my picture to his friends, and tried to make excuses for how I looked. I would be down-right insulted!

I’ve done this myself. Many times! But it wasn’t until I saw other girls do it that I realized how it must come across.

Each person will find different things attractive. It’s true that guys with big muscles, intense eyes, and charming smiles tend to attract more girls. But who’s to say that there aren’t other looks that are allowed to be attractive? Each person is beautiful in their own way, no matter what the media says. And if you have to make up excuses for why your crush or significant other looks a certain way, then there are some things you need to deal with.

  1. Learn to appreciate everything about that person. Not just who they are as a person (as people often encourage, although this is SOOOOO important) but how they look as well! If you are investing yourself enough to say you have a crush on them, then you should accept them, not shun them! That’s harming to you and how you see them, and how open you are to getting to know them.
  2. Stop putting stock in what the media says. We’ve all seen the guys that seem to step out of teen magazines. And we’ve all had our two hour crushes on them. As girls, we dream of the perfect prince that will sweep us off our feet. But truthfully, not every guy fits “the look”. And what I’ve learned is that there are way more attractive things about a guy than him fitting “the look.” Personally, I like a guy that doesn’t fit this. I don’t want my man to look just like every other girls’ guy! I like to think I’m a little unique, so I’d like my guy to be the same. Plus, who is the media to say what’s beautiful and what’s not? If I’m attracted to someone what doesn’t fit “the look” then that’s my choice, and I shouldn’t have provide a reason for it.
  3. Don’t act like his worth comes from how attractive he is, or how well he fits “the look”. It’s not a bad thing to show your friends what he looks like. What IS wrong is taking his appearance and letting them tell you that “Oh, he’s okay” or “Or eh, I guess he’s kinda cute” or even, “You could do so much better!” As if this determines his worth! And if they do judge, don’t be ashamed of what you’ve decided on, or what you think is attractive. Everyone is entitled to their own opinion and preferences, and so are you. Stand up for him! I’d love to have a guy who has the guts and commitment to do that for me.

I want to show the character that I want to see in my potential husband. There is no reason for me not to! Physical attraction is part of any crush or relationship, but personality far exceeds it. Even so, physical appearance still plays a part! But don’t let it become such a huge factor for you that you put down your crush/significant other in order to fit into the idea of “the look.” Be unique. Be yourself. And most of all, never be ashamed of someone for not fitting society’s idea of attractive.

Can I have your number?

Today I had a very interesting and unusual experience. Someone asked for my number!
Now, it’s not like I don’t have a life (although sometimes it feels like it), and I do my best to be friendly and open with people. However, it’s not very often a guy will ask for my number.
But despite this rarity, I refused to give it to him. Why? For two reasons: I am not desparate enough to accept anyone who flirts with me. And because he had all the wrong reasons for asking.
He started talking to me at the bus stop, and we continued to chat as we got on the bus. It was an interesting enough converstation. But I started to notice that it was VERY one sided. He’d talk about himself, I would smile, nod, and make affirming sounds. Perhaps, once in a while, I would get a short question in.

I honestly DON’T mind if people want to talk a lot. It takes the pressure off me. But it was what he said after that got to me.
“Can I have your number? I feel like we had a really good talk.”
Excuse me? The only thing he knew about me was my name, even though I knew so much about him! His school, his ambitions, his favourite activities…etc. But he had said WE had a good talk, when it was simply HIM liking having someone to listen.

We all need someone to listen to us. However, it doesn’t feel right to have interest in someone because they will be that Listener. That isn’t fair to them, or to you. That’s not a relationship. Relationships go two ways.
If I were going to give my number to anyone, it would be because I know they are interested in knowing me. Not someone who simply likes me listening to them. That does not show me a lot of personal confidence that I want in a potential partner.
So yes, I said no to giving him my number. And I can stand by that no matter what. I may not get many offers, but when someone who is TRUELY interested in me comes along, I’ll be ready.